suki suki (untraindthought) wrote,
suki suki

my granny is really sick. she keeps getting sicker what with her heart disease and parkensons... she fired her in-home nurses because she felt wierd about a stranger being in her house all the time.... so for the next 3 weeks my dad has to live over at her place with her. everything is so messed up.... my 19th birthday is in 10 days and now i just dont care... it seems so unimportant. 

today i felt total guilt and shame about myself like that that i used to have back with i was sick. i feel fat adn gross and just dont know what to do. i feel like my priorities are all out of whack like ive let my friends adn family down. i feel like shit maybe im with the wrong guy doing hte wrong thing. what if what im doing with my life is all wrong for me. i havent talked ot my asia is ages and now i feel like im falling apart and i dont know who to talk. gwen is moving to uclulet tomorrow morning and wont be back until september. dj and i keep fighting about nothing. my dads gone. my granny MINE not moiras MINE is dieing.... 

everything that i thought i knew how to do i cant....
i dont know what to do anymore

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